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372 Pages – Ep 201 – Mayor of Noobtown Ep 1 – Hope You Like Numbers 1 and 2!

Don’t wanna be a NOOB? Then support the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode a week early plus other stuff we don’t post anywhere else! https://patreon.com/372pages

Ah, literature. Set your mind on higher things. Assuming that doo-doo and wee-wee are higher things. ‘Cause there’s a lot of it in a scant few chapters. And speaking of scant few chapters, Mike and Conor found enough in them to talk for nearly three hours!

However, in that time they managed to cram in your Dumb Sentences and Mike had time to consider your Real or FanFic submissions.

Assignment: Read thru Chapter 14

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280 Mysteries Ep 19 – The Case of the Wagon Master

Listen to the entire 280 Mysteries archive and get every episode of the podcast a week early, only on our Patreon! https://patreon.com/372pages

It’s like we’ve always said here at 372 Pages, it’s about time someone took a real hard look at Wagon Masters! I don’t trust them. Never have. And this Encyclopedia Brown mystery really puts a period on that sentence.

Listen to see if Mike can crack the case and match the 10 year-old.

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280 Mysteries Ep 18 – The Case of the Stolen Confederate Stamps

Listen to the whole 280 Mysteries archive, that’s over 40 episodes, on our Patreon! patreon.com/372pages

Mike and Conor almost wanted to recuse themselves from this particular Encyclopedia Brown mystery because they both have stolen a LOT of Confederate stamps. Like, a lot. The Feds, Interpol, many organizations are seeking them out. Still, they came out of hiding to present you with this ep.

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372 Pages #199 – Owl Be Home for Christmas – Ep 2 – O Little Town of DEATH-lehem!

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How still we see thee DIE! Above thy CREEP (ahem Sharnek) and dreamless sleep the silent Scrumptious Scotch BARS go by. Yet in thy dark streets DIE-eth the everlasting FIGHT (with the suspect); the hopes and fears of all the BEERS (which are presumably served at the shady bar next to where Holly the professional dogwalker lives) are met in thee tonight.

You get the point. This Cozy Christmas Murder ain’t goin’ anywhere we didn’t expect it to. Although! I have many questions about Owl Protective Services that aren’t addressed in the book. (Please email me, michael j nelson, separately and we can enter into a discussion.)

Get the book here

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372 Pages #198 – Owl Be Home for Christmas – Ep 1 – Julius Pringle Put Cherries in His Wife’s Christmas Cake, Obviously!!

Thanks to everyone who supported the podcast on Patreon this year. Join the fun and get a whole bunch of stuff you can’t hear anywhere else: https://patreon.com/372pages

Ok, let’s tally up the cozy: Christmas beanies. Hot chocolate. Candy canes. Matching sweaters with cute doggo. Sentient owl. Butts. Poop. Murdered senior — all right, look! Maybe it’s not all cozy! Still, this is Full Fork, so I expect they will back up the cozy truck before too long.

As it is, the Real or Fanfic somehow doesn’t work out that well for Mike, however Dumb Sentences of the Week seem to right the ship. You be the judge.

Also, here is Ein the Corgi licking yogurt off the back of a spoon

Get the book here and then for next time, finish said book

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372 Pages #196 – Deception Point Ep 4 – Corky Coats Himself in His Own WHAT?!*

Support the podcast on Patreon, where you can hear our latest 280 Mysteries with special guest Dan Deacon, and be the first to learn what book is next! https://patreon.com/372pages

This is it, the final episode of Dan Brown’s Deception Point, a book so dumb it raises (lowers?) the level at which a 372 book can be labelled as “dumb.” It’s entire galaxies of dumb-ness. The list of things dumber than it is very small. Dumb and Dumber contains less than a third of the dumbness as this book. There was a lot to talk about here, not the least of which is the “gorge of teeth” that came at one of the Delta sisters (I assume they were a trio of dancing triplets, the book never explicitly says.)

*”Prize-winning astrophysicist Corky Marlinson….Corky Marlinson was as brilliant and respected as they came… Marlinson’s ideas on gravitational fields were legendary among NRO satellite engineers.”

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