Conor Lastowka and Michael J. Nelson are reading books they're pretty sure they're going to hate. Read along with us for a podcast book clubs of Ready Player One, Armada, The Eye of Argon, Dan Brown, and more!
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Mike and Conor almost wanted to recuse themselves from this particular Encyclopedia Brown mystery because they both have stolen a LOT of Confederate stamps. Like, a lot. The Feds, Interpol, many organizations are seeking them out. Still, they came out of hiding to present you with this ep.
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How still we see thee DIE! Above thy CREEP (ahem Sharnek) and dreamless sleep the silent Scrumptious Scotch BARS go by. Yet in thy dark streets DIE-eth the everlasting FIGHT (with the suspect); the hopes and fears of all the BEERS (which are presumably served at the shady bar next to where Holly the professional dogwalker lives) are met in thee tonight.
You get the point. This Cozy Christmas Murder ain’t goin’ anywhere we didn’t expect it to. Although! I have many questions about Owl Protective Services that aren’t addressed in the book. (Please email me, michael j nelson, separately and we can enter into a discussion.)
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Ok, let’s tally up the cozy: Christmas beanies. Hot chocolate. Candy canes. Matching sweaters with cute doggo. Sentient owl. Butts. Poop. Murdered senior — all right, look! Maybe it’s not all cozy! Still, this is Full Fork, so I expect they will back up the cozy truck before too long.
As it is, the Real or Fanfic somehow doesn’t work out that well for Mike, however Dumb Sentences of the Week seem to right the ship. You be the judge.
Also, here is Ein the Corgi licking yogurt off the back of a spoon
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Obviously you’re all thinking, “Donald Sobel wrote an Encyclopedia Brown Mystery about the 1993 Georgia Satellites song?! Weird. But very intriguing!” Sadly, no. This was written eight years prior to its release. The solution is utter madness.
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We went over some of the thousands and thousands of cozy mysteries out there before deciding on OWL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS as our 2025 cozy. Revisit the contenders!
Assignment: Read thru Chapter 8
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This is it, the final episode of Dan Brown’s Deception Point, a book so dumb it raises (lowers?) the level at which a 372 book can be labelled as “dumb.” It’s entire galaxies of dumb-ness. The list of things dumber than it is very small. Dumb and Dumber contains less than a third of the dumbness as this book. There was a lot to talk about here, not the least of which is the “gorge of teeth” that came at one of the Delta sisters (I assume they were a trio of dancing triplets, the book never explicitly says.)
*”Prize-winning astrophysicist Corky Marlinson….Corky Marlinson was as brilliant and respected as they came… Marlinson’s ideas on gravitational fields were legendary among NRO satellite engineers.”
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Pigs are stolen. Gooses killed, gutted, de-feathered, roasted over spits and eaten by drifters. And, evidently, dogs are wounded. Idaville’s an odd place.
Can Mike crack the case?!
Listen to the complete 280 Mysteries archive on our Patreon! patreon.com/372pages
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Find out how this book compares to the works of Tolstoy, Virginia Woolf and Rush. And while you’re at it, follow the exploits of Hot Sexton and her father Senator Sexton Sedgewick. Does triple PhD Dr. Marlinson get his tongue caught in an old timey clothes wringer?! You’ll have to listen to find out. Track Mike’s results on Real or Fanfic and get a load of the Dumb Sentences of the Week.
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Watch goose* is a thing, everyone. Seriously. We don’t like it anymore than you do, but it’s a thing. Mike tries to crack the case.
*”Guard goose” would also be an accepted term.
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Courvoisier-sipping senator Sedgewick Sexton; the hideous, grotesque, smoke-spewing, long-limbed inhuman creature Marjorie Tench; and Deltas One, Two and Three are just a few of the characters discussed in this episode. So much happens. So many words are misused. So many editors went un-hired. It’s a wonder we could fit in Real or Fanfic as well as Dumb Sentences of the Week.
READING ASSIGNMENT: Read through Chapter 100. If you dare!
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