372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

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Look, Cap is a ghost. Or a specter. Or a haint, or something old-timey, and Tater is clearly either dead or in another realm (full disclosure: that is Mike’s guess. Conor has other theories) but no matter what realm we’re in, this much does not change: Miles is a dumb ass. And he likes kissing. Tasting and kissing. But mostly kissing.

Does Mike do well at Real or Fanfic? Well, we wish we could center justify this text as a clue, but Patreon doesn’t allow it. I think the larger point is that he likes orange juice.

READING ASSIGNMENT: Please. Read. Through. Chapter 22.

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Support the podcast on Patreon, where you get access to the complete 280 archive, every episode a week early, and other fun stuff! https://patreon.com/372pages

Join us once again in Batshitcrazytown, USA, aka Idaville, where Encyclopedia Brown is attempting to solve a case that initially appears to be an attempted murder, but fortunately only ends up beating a savage beating during a home invasion. How many rich people live in Idaville and just how rich are they? Maybe we’ll find out more in this episode, which features one of Donald J Sobal’s most excrutiating ‘solutions’ thus far.

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Get the book here (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/4kKujs4

Ah, a fresh author, a fresh book, a new start; meeting new characters, exciting new locat– wait. What? Half the chapters are center justified?! And half the words in those chapters are “Rachel”?! And fully half of the characters have distinct odors and / or flavors? Ok… Let’s read through Ugly Love.

READING ASSIGNMENT: All the way through Chapter 15

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Craig Finn of The Hold Steady joins our little podcast and the results are nothing short of spectacular. His new book and his upcoming tour with Bob Mould of Hüsker Dü are of course discussed (and Mike somehow refrained from telling him the story of how Hüsker Dü’s Grant Hart and he once emptied garbage cans together…) BUT more importantly, he is presented with an Encyclopedia Brown mystery and it’s everything you’d want it to be.

Even bigger news. I mean, huge, can’t-be-overstated news: he settles a very long time musical feud between Conor and Mike. It does not go how either one of them expected.

Get Craig’s new album Always Been and the companion book Lousy With Ghosts here

Check out his podcast That’s How I Remember It

Subscribe to his Substack

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It’s been 32 books, but it’s finally time for us to learn what the most popular author on the planet, Colleen Hoover is all about. This book is “Ugly Love” which has about as many reviews on Goodreads as every book we’ve covered on the podcast combined. Despite the fact that it is, by all accounts, not very good. And yes, at least one of us is already familiar with that passage from it…

We’ll discuss CoHo and the CoHorts and then Conor challenges Mike to a Price Is Right style game based on our back catalog’s popularity on Goodreads.

Assignment: Read thru Chapter 8

Get the book here (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/4kKujs4

List of 372 Pages books on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/135754.372_Pages_We_ll_Never_Get_Back

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Here’s another diabolic mystery concerning Idaville’s very own cryptid, the legendary SKUNK APE! It also, for the third time since we started doing these, involves a pilfered string instrument.

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This is our last reading of The Legend of Rah & the Muggles, so obviously, the following things will be resolved, wrapped up, made clear, etc.

-The golden key
-The box in the cave
-Rah and Zyn’s parents
-Sir Geoffrey
-The Worry Stone
-The letter from their mother
-How many Manchineet trees are there and should they destroy them?
-Can eating grass alone sustain a(n admittedly mutated) human being for seven years?

So, yeah: all wrapped up. We have no further questions.

Here is a gallery of images discussed in the episode

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In our latest foray into Idaville based petty crime, Mike will not be alone in his attempt to solve a mystery. He’ll also have to compete with legendary ne’er-do-well Bugs Meany, who has started his own detective agency to compete with Bad Bad Leroy.

This episode features one of the more legendary solutions we’ve encountered in the run of the podcast, so you’ll definitely want to listen because this one absolutely would not hold up in a court of law.

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Let’s start by confessing that, yes; The Legend of Rah & the Muggles is obviously a children’s book. I mean, the nuclear holocaust on page one. The small, deformed, hairless creatures getting dragged away by terrifying rodents. Giant horse ants. Fruit worms. This is kid stuff.

Still! That does not deter Mike nor Conor from doing their sacred duty to talk at length about Uncle Fred, a character mentioned once in a poem!

For next time: finish the damn book!

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Witness Intimidation is all the rage in Idaville, as Mike tries to solve the most insanely diabolical “mystery” the boy detective and your hosts have encountered so far. Sobol, you monster!

Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to over 30 more 280 Mysteries! Plus get access to all 372 Episodes a week early and other fun stuff. patreon.com/372pages

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