Conor is able to somehow follow the plot of My Immortal! A power that comes in handy when having to explain it to Mike who views it as somewhat more abstruse than the Voynich manuscript.
A packed if mercifully briefer episode than last time we steal mail (including some amazing mash-ups by our listeners), Mike fails spectacularly at Real Fanfic or Fake Fanfic, Conor dives to the dark web once again.
The Irishman is envious of the length of this podcast. But there was so much to talk about!
While Susan sits dazed, stupefied, sooty, unsure of where she is, what she’s doing, how math works, and whether or not she’ll ever get to Stone Manor, the revolting men around her solve the problems posed by E. Tankado.
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A lot of Dumb Sentences, a LOT of technicians yelling, and Conor dives to the Dark Web to find a recreation that will hit you like a bullet to Jabba’s gut.
Looking for good writing in a Dan Brown book is a lot like looking for a sock in a bedroom the size of Texas while sewage spews forth out of a crystal decanter. And this section of DIGITAL FORTRESS is no exception.
As the book theoretically reaches the stage where it will have a point, questions still remain such as: Who should we trust, Hale or Strathmore? Do earrings count as needles? Does Genius mean the same thing to Dan Brown as it does the rest of us? How many times can our hosts use the word “Pubis”?
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Pour yourself a silent mug of Guatemalan java and enjoy our latest episode. For next time read thru Chapter 100.
This episode begins with the introduction of possibly the greatest character in the history of the podcast (apologies to Bleriana, Jack Star, and the Robot Pimp) Greg Hale. He enters like a bull, in all his ogling, olive oil swigging, convicted murderer glory.
From there we’ll move on to international intrigue, tired stereotypes, Idiot Switch theories, mediocre escort salesmen, and deceptive cities. And speaking of Deceptive, there’s this week’s Real or Fanfic!
Man, so much to talk about and so so much is talked about!!*
Highlights: A withered naked old woman struggles with a bedpan. The smell of urine is in the air. Are the two things connected? You’ll have to listen to find out.
All of our heroes (or are they heroes [SFX tension sting]?) chuckle a lot. Like, vastly more than even that friend-of-a-friend you insist your spouse never invite to lunch again because they chuckle too much and it creeps you out.
The departments are here: Mike may or may not get destroyed in Real or Fanfic because of Conor’s underhanded chicanery. We’re stealing people’s mail and we have a lot of dumb sentences because Dan Brown who is dumb pens a bunch of dumb sentences.
*Seconds after ending this podcast Mike and Conor talked over microphones again for a RiffTrax meeting. True.
READING ASSIGNMENT FOR NEXT TIME: Through Chap 36. (It’s ok, there are a MILLION chapters.)
A straightforward Dan Brown thriller, if by straightforward you mean vastly underpaid Georgetown professors sticking their heads into drinking fountains and forcing their strange dietary habits on unwitting squash partners.
We also hear from some experts on language and cryptography (and general human behavior, for that matter) about the many many things Mr. Brown gets extremely wrong.
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We have Dumb Sentence of the Week, we Steal People’s Mail, Mike is challenged in Real or Fanfic, Conor hacks into the NSA to steal some of their crap, and also, Mike does a short set at a local comedy club using the humor of our sexy, chiseled leads!