Episode 48 – Trucking Through Time

Load your cooler up with knickknacks, good buddy, we’re in for a long haul! This is our first episode covering Charles E. Harris’ “Trucking Through Time” and if the first two chapters are any indication it’s going to be quite the journey!

We’ll meet our heroes Chad and Dale, the comically mismatched duo who are more alike than many pairs of identical twins. They’re headed to the Bay Area, with nothing to keep them company but a vast library of truck stop books, plastic bags to pee in and toss out the window, and fond memories of Miss Marie. Along the way they’ll encounter authentic Western settings, harrowing tales on backs of menus, and two guys named Patch.

If you enjoy the podcast and want to support us, or DON’T enjoy it but for some reason want access to every episode early, plus other bonuses, check out our patreon. Thanks to the nearly 400 listeners who already support us!

We’ve got all our departments, emails, DSOTW, and some stepped up fan fiction. Plus a controversial segment involving a newly recast 372 Pages Players and a touching overheard conversation between a father and a son.

For next time, read thru Chapter 5!

(Oh, and here’s a link to the maps that listener David plotted out for us, as discussed at the end)

Episode 47 – So do Albanian cars have seatbelts or what?

As we wrap up our deep dive into EL James’ “The Mister”, we have a lot of questions. Well, one question really: What the hell?

But also: Why was absolutely nothing resolved? Why do Maxim and Alessia treat her father like his opinion should matter at all? How much were they paying that translator? Is that another half-finished hotel? Do automobiles actually qualify as a “fun theme”? Why is our hero thinking about his mother during sex? Tickety-boo????

We’ll address some of these questions, but we’ve also got a ton of listener emails, Dumb Sentences, an Amazon review quiz, a Goodreads review quiz, a look at the role of Albanian translators in perilous situations throughout history, as well as a listen as to what Alessia’s father’s wedding toast might have sounded like.

Our Patreon supporters have a chance to win our copies of The Mister, in addition to getting every episode early and other things nobody else gets to see. Enter to win and join them here!

We ALSO have a very fun anacrostic puzzle that listener Amanda made for us. Download it and give it a shot here!

Thank you for reading along with us on The Mister, especially everyone who wrote in, created fanfic and memes, and shared their comments here! This one was a lot of fun. We’ll take next week off for the fourth but will have a book giveaway and a Trucking Through Time assignment soon!

Episode 46 – Bleriana’s Bucket

This is now an all Bleriana, all the time podcast. Our favorite unseen character, who may or may not still be a sex slave when this book ends in fifty pages, makes another appearance, as Alessia finally recounts the story of her evil Betrothed and her journey to England. Despite her saying “I love you” dozens of times and being DTF no matter what recent trauma has happened, Maxim remains uncertain of their relationship’s standing. We examine the possible causes of this idiocy. 

We are approaching 400 Patreon supporters! Thanks to everyone who backs us on there: we really really appreciate it and it helps us push through these terrible books! We’ll be giving our copies of The Mister to lucky winners once we’re done, so get in on the fun at patreon.com/372pages

We’ll also examine the relationship between Maxim and his headmates, pause for a brief ad for Jameson Irish Whiskey, and speculate on exactly what the hell Maxim was uploading to his Instagram from the airport. We’ll also speculate on the odds that certain events happen in the book’s final fifty pages.

For next time, there’s nothing left to do but finish the damn book!

Episode 45 – Wherefore Art Thou, Bleriana?

Our second favorite trafficking victim does NOT show up in this section of The Mister, but other than that, it’s jam packed. Anesthesia, post-trauma boning, and approximately 3/4 of a page of honest to god drama and tension!

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Mike and Conor have been busy trying out recipes from the book, we’ll hear details about Conor’s Banoffee Pie and Mike will try some beef stew with prunes (Prunes?) live on the air. The 372 Pages Players make their dramatic return. We examine an Amazon reviewer’s other purchases. Plus reliable standbys like FanFic, DSOTW, and listener emails are all here! 

For next time, read up to Pages 442, the section break that ends with “but I hope I find my girl.”

Episode 44 – Male Tasting Fingers

This episode is nearly two hours long, despite the fact that if you cut out all the sex from these five chapters, all our characters did was buy shoes and play chess. Oh, and they saw a deer.

Our patreon supporters have been listening to this episode all weekend! Join the fun and get every episode early at patreon.com/372pages

Anyway, there’s a ton of fun details to dive into. We’ve got a word count guessing game, an alternative ending for a book, a deleted scene that finds Maxim green with envy, fanfic, emails, and dumb sentences! Plus we’ll kick things off with an announcement about the return of an old friend of the podcast. So cut a slice of banoffee, fire up some shitty mellow artist on your Sonos, and listen now!

For next time read up to page 388, thru chapter 24

Episode 43 – Music for your what now?

WARNING: This section of The Mister may contain the dumbest sentence we’ve ever covered on this show.

Join us in pastoral Cornwall, where Maxim and the entrancing Alessia, who’s beauty, we’re often reminded, is very beautiful, are hiding out from Albania sex traffickers. What do they do to pass the time? What any two attractive (Alessia is very attractive) young people would do: eat fish pies and get busy as hell.

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Along the way we’ll learn that our hero can visually assess whether women in a truck stop restroom look like they’ve been sex-trafficked from Eastern Europe, meet the world’s fastest interrupter, and meet Megan, a sullen hag who Maxim of course has already banged. We’ll also debut a new Review-based department!

For next time, read up to page 319, thru chapter 19.

Episode 42 – Not A Groin Was Stirring

In part two of our deep dive into The Mister, author EL James gives her audience exactly what they came for: Sex! Nobody actually having it, of course, but people are being trafficked for it in a cheap attempt to lend gravitas to a tawdry romance novel! We were so disgusted our groins barely stirred at all.

This week we’ll get to meet Maxim’s bros and pay a visit to his family estates. We’ll crack a smile anytime we don’t see condoms, and finally get a good look at Alessia underneath that revolting housecoat. (Spoiler alert: she’s very attractive, and also a genius.)

If you like the podcast, please consider supporting us on patreon! You’ll get every episode early and if you move quick you can get in on our The Mister meme contest! patreon.com/372pages

Real or Fanfic returns, along with a dark web look at some of the other times that Maxim held his tongue (turns out he’s done it a lot throughout history, not just when he’s offered revolting instant coffee)

For next time, read thru Chapter 14, to page 235!

Link to Facts King’s Albania page:  https://factsking.com/countries/albania/ 

Episode 41 – Handsome Buttocks

Who’s ready to get British and horny?? This is our first episode devoted to The Mister by EL James, and it’s obviously unlike anything we’ve read on here before.  We’ll examine the author’s clever methods for padding out the book length, as well as some very surprising similarities to the works of Ernest Cline. We’ll also examine how a cartoon wolf might respond to the sight of someone polishing a piano in an alluring nylon housecoat. We’ll also check out the dark web and establish some powerful new Albanian stereotypes. Join us!!!

Our Patreon supporters have been listening to this episode all weekend, literally, non-stop. They’re nuts. Join them and get every episode early! patreon.com/372pages

All this plus some truly Dumb Sentences of the week and a surprisingly tricky Fanfic or Real? segment

For next time, read thru chapter 9, page 156

Episode 40 – Book Number Seven

Time to start our seventh book together! This one promises to be quite the journey. Don’t want to ruin this surprise, so get listening!

Oh and by the way, our Patreon supporters have been reading this book all weekend because they get every episode early! Lucky them…? If you want to join them, we really appreciate the support! patreon.com/372pages

Episode 39 – Broken Camera Blues

We are back after a week in Nashville! While we were there, we figured that we would take advantage of the opportunity to record face to face. So we recorded a dynamic, hilarious, touching video rattling off some potential Next Book candidates (it was well shot too.) Unfortunately, Mike had a checked bag mishap with his camera on the flight home (the airline killed it, thinking it was a service dog)

So we have reprised the chat over audio for folks to listen to! We’ll discuss six candidates for potential new books. Listen and let us know what you think!

Our Patreon supporters have been discussing these potential books all week! Join them and get every episode early for jut $5 a month: patreon.com/372pages

Links to the books we discussed, but without revealing titles: