Episode 66 – We Come to Bury Burys

A shocking Very Special Episode! A first in the history of the podcast, possibly a first for any podcast!

The smelly, repugnant, filth-caked, farm-animal-of-a-girl Elora is discussed at length which leads to not one BUT two shocking bathroom tales from Mike and Conor! (Can you get that from Conan’s podcast, I think not?!)

All the departments are here, and it’s just possible that Mike is hitting his stride in Real or Fanfic.

Plus: We discuss the appearance in Shadow Moon of a literal “hell of a rig”.

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EDIT: Neglected to give the reading assignment which is… wait for it… brace yourselves… yep… FINISH THE BOOK. (We know you’re not going to do that so sorry for the fake drama.)

Episode 65 – Pig Girl Wrecks the Can

Happy new year everyone! A new decade has dawned and we are still reading Shadow Moon. In this segment, to the author’s credit, some stuff actually happens! Unfortunately what happens is that a nude otter-man crashes through the roof of a tavern and the sacred princess takes a dump.

Fortunately, we’re able to gain more insight into the dynamic between our two authors via the magic of secret dark web recordings. We’ll also discuss with asperity Clucas’s new word fascination, “implacable”. And we’ll wrack our brains trying to think up new varieties of vermin.

We’re getting close to 500 supporters on Patreon! Kick in a few bucks and get every episode early, and access to other bonus stuff like Meme Contests, TekWar card reviews, and bonus episodes!

For next time, read thru Chapter 12, page 357.

Episode 64 – Willow Loves Willow

Mike and Conor have a pretty straightforward discussion about how Thorn née Willow formerly “the floor” kinda sorta transforms into The Demon / A Dragon / Some Stones / a Liquid Mass of His Own Melted Organs / Some Shards / A Mountain / a Swimmer / a Fish, etc., and in that state puffs air into the demon’s daughter who may or may not be Elora, and then, as he has done several times before, looks around the castle, gets pulverized, crushed, bloody, turns into one searing mass of unbearable agony, then pops through some masonry and starts shoving people into moon fire.

So, pretty clear, though some unusual stuff does happen along the way.

Plus: Conor does Real or FanFic and you won’t believe what happens next!

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For next episode *deep soul-weary sigh* read fifty more pages!

Episode 63 – Shadow Moon: Episoude the Fourth

 A jam-packed episode made all the more thrilling because Mike’s computer crashed twice while making it. Was it ensorcelled by a HardDriveHeron with CrashCharms? We may never know.

What else? Pretty straightforward, nothing really stands out — Oh, wait: Willow becomes a floor. I think that’s pretty self-explanatory.

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Episode 62 – Llamacorn sez, “Well coat my meat in peanut sauce, it’s a new ep!”

Gather round victuallers and chandlers, alike! Lacquer your fur down and join us as we dig further into the Thillow-verse. 

Can Mike get a soild D or D- in Real or Fanfic? How’s Thorn’s stand-up routine (the dark web knows)? Can Conor pronounce “magus” any better than “Ogden”? What’s the theoretical limit for a book’s chapter length? Also:

  • Pop quizzes
  • Mail from you listeners
  • Dumb sentences
  • Minor glamours are cast
  • Eagles mate 

Our Patreon supporters have been listening to this episode for days now. DAYS! Join them at patreon.com/372pages, get every episode early, get access to our exclusive discord channel, see Conor’s favorite Tekwar cards and more!

Finally, want to force Mike to go see a Star War? Then check out a way to do it in the service of a good cause: click here

Episode 61 – Don’t Put Ketchup on your Death Dog

Ah, Shadow Moon… That’s a name we haven’t heard in a long time… Well, a week at least!

Join us as we continue our deep dive into the Lucas/Claremont saga “Shadow Moon”.  This section begins with a bunch of Death Dogs getting impaled, decapitated, and having various organs thrown into raging infernos. We’ll debate whether Thorn/Willow (Thillow?)’s ability to do any magic that is required of the situation cheapens the drama (it does.) And we’ll do our best to imitate what a Daikini accent might sound like. Spoiler: It sounds like a Chicago accent performed with two wildly varying levels of skill. 

Our Patreon supporters are our very favorite listeners, they’ve had access to this episode since way before Thanksgiving! Join them at patreon.com/372pages

All this plus a tricky bunch of fanfic, some emails that explore some theories about whether this was actually ever supposed to be a Willow book, a listen to Maulroom absolutely crushing it at the bar on Lady’s Night, and one very special Llamacorn.

For next time, read up to page 150!

Episode 60 – This Podcast is now named Thorn Drumheller

Step into the WillowVerse for our first discussion of George Lucas & Chris Claremont’s “SHADOW MOON”! Things get sexy right off the bat, and never let up (if you consider descriptions of hair that is one color but has streaks of another color in it to be sexy. We do.)

We’ll meet some of our favorite characters and quickly say goodbye to them. We’ll be beset upon by verbal jugular japery on the par of “He who smelt it dealt it.” And we’ll likely confuse Death Dogs for Devil Dogs at least a dozen times.

Special thanks to our Patreon supporters who have had access to this episode for days already. Get every episode early and get to participate in contests, giveaways, bonus eps and more. Patreon.com/372pages

Plus, a fine showing from Mike in Real or FanFic, and a surprisingly music set of interludes. For next time, Read thru chapter 2 (page 100 in the mass market paperback!)

Episode 59 – Book 10

  • Cline
  • Cline
  • Theis
  • Shatlart
  • Thrash
  • Pappy
  • James
  • Harris
  • Stoker…

Who’s next? Listen and find out!

(Hey! Patreon supporters have known about this book for a week already and have been snatching up the cheapest used copies! Join them for early access to every episode, bonus eps, videos, contests, and more! patreon.com/372pages )

Episode 58 – China Worm Sunflower

Three hypnotizing attempts, two destroyed castles, and countless walnuts later, Lair of The White Worm comes to an end. Break out the medium-grade china and cream-jug, because this is one episode you won’t want to miss.

The 372 Pages Improv Players will attempt to fill the void when the Dark Web comes up empty, and we’ll examine how the book is actually exciting, you just need the right music to play. And does Conor have a new Ogden in his life? Plus, what the hell are the amplified dimensions of a potential breakfast?

Just try to keep all laughter quieter than your average slum beating as Mike & Conor wrap up Bram Stoker’s Bad Book, and keep an eye on the Patreon page for our review of the movie and a mailbag.

Episode 57 – Well Hung Doors

It’s our third episode discussing Bram Stoker’s “Lair of the White Worm”. If you like coherent horror stories, we apologize. But as a consolation, may we offer you dozens of sentences with upwards of seven commas in them?

We get the best of what Bram has to offer here: conversations with old men in parlors, absolute gibberish theories passed off as scientific fact, tea with attempted murderers, forest-planks, and of course, in a triumphant return, The Worm of Lambton. We are well aware of the amount of commas in that sentence.

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We’ll also inspect Adam Salton’s past to see how he came to amass such an intricate library of smells, and Mike will attempt to improve on Conor’s abysmal Real or Fanfic performance from last episode. For next time, just finish the damn book!