372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

After countless pages of Worldbuilding and freeing child slaves when our hero felt like it, Ernest Cline finally lets some things happen in this section. The action kicks off when a Gunter and a Sharter listen to a Morissey song in silence and it doesn’t let up from there! By the time we’re done, there’s been a kidnapping, a shareholder’s meeting, and the rollout of a new firmware update. Also, Cline introduces his most annoying tic yet: telling us information again that he just told us. And by the time we’re done with this section, there’s been a kidnapping, a shareholder’s meeting, and the rollout of a new firmware update.

All this plus Real or Fanfic, Emails, and Dumb Sentences.

Check out our Patreon for a bonus Real or Fanfic as well as some fun stuff next week: patreon.com/372pages

For next time: read thru Chapter 16

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Don’t miss out on participating in the read along! Join the 372 Patreon and get early access to episodes, as well as a BONUS Real or Fanfic we did this week! patreon.com/372pages
So much to cover:

Conor is shocked at Cline’s revelation that there may be a downside to the internet

Conor is shocked at Cline’s revelation that gigantic media conglomerates may not have his best interest at heart

Mike is delighted when Cline teaches him that social media allows people to share “memes, files, photos and songs”

There’s a gigantic space ark: but what are its data storage needs?
All this plus Real or FanFic, Listener Mail, and the revelation that The 372 Players live in a closet!

READING ASSIGNMENT: Finish Chap 9

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to every episode early, plus a ton of exclusive bonus stuff! patreon.com/372pages

Ready Player Two? Let me ask that again; Ready Player Two?! I don’t think you are!! But Conor and Mike are ready. Having only an evening to read the first few chapters, here are some questions addressed: Did you have “faint numbness” with your previous rig? Solved! Could you feel “tiny craters of pulp” beneath your fingers when you crushed an apple with previous rigs? Solved! Were all your previous efforts in the Oasis “senseless pantomimes”? Yes, of course they were, you Sharter!

NEXT ASSIGNMENT: Read through chapter four.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Yes, this may be the final episode of Midnight Sun but Alice has looked into the future and Mike and Conor are still reading it in every possibility but this one.

We won’t spoil anything about the episode itself but stay tuned to the very end and help us (and 372 listener Josh who sent it in) solve the deep mystery of the shared / unshared lasagna in the greater Twilight universe…

Join us for our next book, Ready Player Two! Our patreon supporters get access to the newest episodes before anyone else, so join the fun! patreon.com/372pages

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Phil hears from an assistant coach of the Sidewinders that there may be a backup shortstop position opening up! So Renee and he may drive back to Phoenix!!!!!!!!

Also, the tireless and cunning James the Tracker is making plans to watch his collection of VHS tapes in a room with a gold chair rail once he lands his Piper Cub at Chandler Municipal Airport.

Thanks to EVERYONE who supports the podcast on Patreon! If you want first access to our upcoming coverage of READY PLAYER TWO, just $5 a month gets you every episode early, plus access to our entire archive of weird bonus stuff! patreon.com/372pages

So a lot going on, people. In addition to all of that Conor rediscovers the James Earl Jones speech from Field of Dreams and makes his own audiobook really drilling down on Edward’s awareness of his own black soul.

Plus mail and dumb sentences. For next time, finish the damn book!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

How em dash HOW em dash is this book not about Charlie hauling in a world record white perch, or at the very least the story of him getting a treble hook buried into his thigh? Why not page after page of Carlisle being tutored in Courtly Italian by some foppish vampire with a high starched collar?!

Nope. What we get is page after impossibly long page of Bella slurping down Toastee-Os while Edward tortures himself wondering whether her using the big spoon means that she hates him.

Join us on Patreon, where there are currently 275 exclusives posts you can get access to with a monthly contribution to support the podcast! Thanks to everyone who already chips in! patreon.com/372pages

But it does lead to a fairly strong showing by Conor in Real or Fanfic, the Dumb Sentences flow and we share some harrowing tales by listeners.

For next time read thru Chapter 24!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Twilight but as told from the vampire’s point of view, continues to be a collection of words strung together in mostly coherent fashion, with occasional digressions to count thousands of insects. There you go, Little Brown, you can use that as a quote on the cover of the paperback.

We hit the halfway mark during this episode and Mike and Conor found much to discuss. The role of Gordon Bombay in the Twilight-verse, the logic of taking the world’s biggest klutz hiking, and Mike Newton’s quest for the good leads are all addressed. Plus a visit to the dark web and Mike (Nelson, not Newton)’s attempt to convince Conor that Real or Fanfic is actually much harder than it looks.

Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon! We would not do it without them! Get every episode before anybody else, and more fun stuff at patreon.com/372pages

For next time read thru Chapter 20! We’ll post the Midnight Sun meme contest soon, so get ready!

UPDATE: As requested in this ep, cartoonist Bob Fingerman drew his rendition of the “aggressively, forcefully female” vampire Siobahn

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

If you like Cline-ian pop culture lists you are in for a treat! In this episode Mike and Conor break down Bella’s likes / dislikes, turn-ons / turn-offs, preferences for types of flowers / er, preferring not to encounter other types of flowers, etc.

Conor again dives to the dark web to widen our understanding of Edward’s movie tastes, while Mike takes out a very dangerous short term loan from Russian mobsters to hire the 372 Players.

This free feed is one way to get the podcast, but the Patreon feed is the cool way. Get every episode early, plus bonus eps and other nonsense! Support us for less than a third of the cost of a Ready Player Two preorder! patreon.com/372pages

Also, many MANY Sonic Challenges. So many you’ll blush like you were Bella, your jaw will lock like Edward and you’ll have pretty dumb thoughts like Charlie.

READING ASSIGNMENT for next time: Through Chapter 17

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Yes, we talk about things other than Lanny. But we don’t want to!

You’ll all be thrilled to learn that Mike drained the budget to reunite the 372 Players, that Mike scores, um, pretty, pretty well on the Real or Fanfic challenge. There’s tons of Dumb Sentences and Conor dives to the dark web.

But let’s not bury the lead here (no, not lede, let’s not go there) there’s a mid-episode mishap that is nothing short of spectacular [we included it at the end of an exhaustive ep. Hint, Mike is still cleaning it up and it will be many more weeks].

Join us on Patreon, where our supporters have been basking in Lanny’s glow all week long sing they get early access to every episode! patreon.com/372pages

For next time read thru Chapter 13!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

So many words, so many of them “monster”!

A jam-packed episode:

• Conor sails through several Sonic Challenges
• Mike, ahem, sails through Real or Fanfic
• Our listeners mail in and we steal it
• Believe it or not there are plenty of Dumb Sentences.
• There are GOFFS! (get it?)

Special thanks to our patreon supporters! Get every episode early and other great bonus stuff not available anywhere else! patreon.com/372pages For next time read through Chapter 9: Hey, we gotta get through this people.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS