372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

Thank god this book was not 372 pages long. Neither of us could have handled that.  Bob Honey was fortunately only 160, and even so, managed to have three different characters crap their pants, two of them in this final section. It’s a fitting metaphor for something, but we’ll be damned if we’re going to puzzle it out, we’re too busy enjoying our heated pool.

Also enjoying their heated pool? Our Patreon supporters! If you hurry and join them, you can enter to win Mike & Conor’s copies of Bob Honey and also get every episode early! patreon.com/372pages

There is a lot to discuss as we wrap up this entry: the appropriate theme music for one of Bob’s killing sprees, the practicality of the business model of dosing unsuspecting kids with acid, and what Penn might have left out of his wrap up poem.

This was quite a ride, and we’re thankful for everyone who took it with us! Hopefully our next target will prove a bit more whimsical and a bit less alliterative!

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Our favorite unreliable narrator who is also a toilet salesman/mallet assassin is back to bring his book into the homestretch! We’ve got brand new onomatopoeias, lipstick smeared on teeth, and of course, boatloads of alliteration. There’s also a literal boat, which our hero uses to abandon Hurricane Katrina relief effort volunteers to their death. (this is the “stuff” that he evidently “just do.”) There’s also got some fanfic which, though it may not be our most difficult batch yet, gives us a whole lot to look forward to in the book’s final chapters.

Best of all, author Sean Penn has popped up recently on the late night talk show circuit to promote Bob Honey’s paperback release. We’ll examine his recent appearance, where he claims to “laugh a lot while I am writing” and we’ll also look back at some of his previous talk show appearances, where he apparently has a go to defense of his writing that he trots out.

If you are enjoying the podcast, please considering kicking in a few bucks on our Patreon page! Just $5 gets you early access to every episode so you can get started on your fanfic before everyone else! patreon.com/372pages

We are thankfully finishing the damn book for next time!

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The enigma that is Bob Honey continues to baffle and frustrate us. From offering guests a drink that no human has ever consumed (and they accept??), to possessing a secret preternatural scuba diving activity, to being unable to comprehend basic figures of speech. Oh, and he’s a literal superhero we find out too! So that’s just delightful.

Our dark web contacts come thru again with more reenactments, Mike tries a social experiment on his patient wife, and a challenging round of Real or Fanfic? 

If you enjoy the podcast, please consider supporting us on Patreon. Kick in $5 to get every episode early, and just $1 helps out as well and gets you some bonus stuff!

For next time read up to page 121, or right after Pappy Pariah shares his poem.

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Sean Penn certainly has written a collective of words arranged into sentences! There’s a lot to discuss in our first episode diving into Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff. There’s the mysterious backstory Penn created for the book, the maddening alliteration, and the book’s strange ability to make you dislike stuff you previously thought you enjoyed.

We’ll also play a round of “Create your own Sean Penn character“, to show you how easy it is to make a character this eccentric. Plus, the roots of Penn’s satire inspire a brand new movie trailer.

If you support our Patreon you’ve already heard this episode! Get every ep a few days early, plus extra stuff we only post there.

For next time read up Part 2!

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Well, here is the new book we all get to read together! We apologize for nothing!! And hey, a bunch of listeners requested this one, so if you want someone to blame we will name names!

But in all seriousness, this should be very fun, and will be a welcome change of pace from the last book, (though a binder of carpet samples would be a welcome change of pace from the last book.)

If you were a Patreon supporter, you could’ve been reading this four days ago! (Is that a good thing? Is this how enticing works?) Anyway, join in the fun at patreon.com/372pages

As we like to do from time to time, you’ll have a chance to calibrate your tastes along with both of us, just so you know where we are coming from. 

For next time, let’s read thru “Chapter” five, page 45.

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All good things must come to an end. On a completely unrelated note, this book also must come to an end.

And what an ending it is! After pages and pages of repeated text and detailed descriptions of the families of characters who are never mentioned again, we get some actual, honest to god plot development. And when it finally happens, it’s more ludicrous than we could have ever hoped.

372 Pages is made possible by our generous Patreons who get our episodes early, get stuff we don’t post anywhere else, and two lucky ones are even going to walk away with signed copies of our books! Join them at patreon.com/372pages

We will warn you that by listening to this podcast, you may possibly receive a decade in prison without the possibility of parole in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, since evidently they hand those things out like candy on Halloween (or as it’s called in  Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, “Boxing Day”)

Hope you enjoyed the voyage into the Unoverse as much as we did!

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Who is the Sheriff of 372 Pages?

Sorry, just trying out our new catchphrase. Nobody better be laughing!! We have an absolutely jam packed episode this week, because despite maybe 40% of this week’s assigned reading being the same block of typo-ridden copy/paste text, there was a lot to talk about. Potential suspects! Power couples doing cool things! Multiple cases of treason, perpetrated without a second thought!

There’s a lot of new characters introduced so make sure to have a copy of your 64-SQUARES org chart that our Patreon supporters chipped in to make (join the fun at patreon.com/372pages ) And if you find yourself in any biweekly meetings, take a look at this mock agenda that listener Travis made so you’ll know when to take your three breaks and which 40-50 action items you’re discussing.

For next time, finish the damn book!

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Assemble your various financial certification acronyms and have Veronica Jackson clear your schedule, because we’ve got a doozy of an episode! So much to unpack here in our first discussion of The Forensic Certified Public Accountant and the Cremated 64-SQUARES Financial Statements. We’ve got kidnapped mascots, hi-tech spy gear, and world record fast marriage proposals. If you’ve made any plans, blow them to rubbish and listen to this episode instead!

This episode is made possible by our generous Patreon supporters. We hit the 300 patron mark last week! Patrons get early access to every episode, chances to win signed books and other prizes, and the occasional bonus episode! Plus a portion of every months earnings goes to a worthy cause, last months was 826 National. Join us at patreon.com/372pages

NOTE: Mike was on the road this week so we tried a new recording method which did not work as advertised. So the sound quality is not what we’re used to. Hopefully we’ll have it sorted out for the next episode! Thanks for bearing with us.

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Well, we’ve found a new book to read together, and it certainly appears to be something special. More in the vein of “Eye of Argon”, this is one that was never going to hit the best seller list. But based on early scans it seems like it will be a lot of fun to dive into. Or maybe it’ll be like The Ring and we’ll all be dead in seven days! Who knows!

Looking forward to this new dive into a terrible book, please email your thoughts, reactions, fan-fic as soon as you get your hands on a copy!

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Well, the pace sure as hell was unrelenting, folks. We’ve reached the end of TekWar, and there both is and isn’t a lot to talk about. Chest-high walls, disdainful robot pimps, the brief and wondrous life of Sonny Hokori are all just the tip of the iceberg. Thanks to all who hitched their wagons to the Shatlart skytrain for this plasride!

As announced in the episode, we’ll be taking a look at the TekWar TV movie soon as a Patreon exclusive, so stay tuned for that. Conor also has his eye on the next title, so we will get started on that soon as well!

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