Episode 35 – Uh… OK?

Sean Penn certainly has written a collective of words arranged into sentences! There’s a lot to discuss in our first episode diving into Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff. There’s the mysterious backstory Penn created for the book, the maddening alliteration, and the book’s strange ability to make you dislike stuff you previously thought you enjoyed.

We’ll also play a round of “Create your own Sean Penn character“, to show you how easy it is to make a character this eccentric. Plus, the roots of Penn’s satire inspire a brand new movie trailer.

If you support our Patreon you’ve already heard this episode! Get every ep a few days early, plus extra stuff we only post there.

For next time read up Part 2!

Episode 34 – A 160 Page Self-Own

Well, here is the new book we all get to read together! We apologize for nothing!! And hey, a bunch of listeners requested this one, so if you want someone to blame we will name names!

But in all seriousness, this should be very fun, and will be a welcome change of pace from the last book, (though a binder of carpet samples would be a welcome change of pace from the last book.)

If you were a Patreon supporter, you could’ve been reading this four days ago! (Is that a good thing? Is this how enticing works?) Anyway, join in the fun at patreon.com/372pages

As we like to do from time to time, you’ll have a chance to calibrate your tastes along with both of us, just so you know where we are coming from. 

For next time, let’s read thru “Chapter” five, page 45.

Episode 33 – Checkmate

All good things must come to an end. On a completely unrelated note, this book also must come to an end.

And what an ending it is! After pages and pages of repeated text and detailed descriptions of the families of characters who are never mentioned again, we get some actual, honest to god plot development. And when it finally happens, it’s more ludicrous than we could have ever hoped.

372 Pages is made possible by our generous Patreons who get our episodes early, get stuff we don’t post anywhere else, and two lucky ones are even going to walk away with signed copies of our books! Join them at patreon.com/372pages

We will warn you that by listening to this podcast, you may possibly receive a decade in prison without the possibility of parole in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, since evidently they hand those things out like candy on Halloween (or as it’s called in  Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, “Boxing Day”)

Hope you enjoyed the voyage into the Unoverse as much as we did!

Episode 32 – Ctrl-V, Repeat

Who is the Sheriff of 372 Pages?

Sorry, just trying out our new catchphrase. Nobody better be laughing!! We have an absolutely jam packed episode this week, because despite maybe 40% of this week’s assigned reading being the same block of typo-ridden copy/paste text, there was a lot to talk about. Potential suspects! Power couples doing cool things! Multiple cases of treason, perpetrated without a second thought!

There’s a lot of new characters introduced so make sure to have a copy of your 64-SQUARES org chart that our Patreon supporters chipped in to make (join the fun at patreon.com/372pages ) And if you find yourself in any biweekly meetings, take a look at this mock agenda that listener Travis made so you’ll know when to take your three breaks and which 40-50 action items you’re discussing.

For next time, finish the damn book!

Episode 31 – I, Titus Uno

Assemble your various financial certification acronyms and have Veronica Jackson clear your schedule, because we’ve got a doozy of an episode! So much to unpack here in our first discussion of The Forensic Certified Public Accountant and the Cremated 64-SQUARES Financial Statements. We’ve got kidnapped mascots, hi-tech spy gear, and world record fast marriage proposals. If you’ve made any plans, blow them to rubbish and listen to this episode instead!

This episode is made possible by our generous Patreon supporters. We hit the 300 patron mark last week! Patrons get early access to every episode, chances to win signed books and other prizes, and the occasional bonus episode! Plus a portion of every months earnings goes to a worthy cause, last months was 826 National. Join us at patreon.com/372pages

NOTE: Mike was on the road this week so we tried a new recording method which did not work as advertised. So the sound quality is not what we’re used to. Hopefully we’ll have it sorted out for the next episode! Thanks for bearing with us.

Episode 30 – Manifesto in Book Form

Well, we’ve found a new book to read together, and it certainly appears to be something special. More in the vein of “Eye of Argon”, this is one that was never going to hit the best seller list. But based on early scans it seems like it will be a lot of fun to dive into. Or maybe it’ll be like The Ring and we’ll all be dead in seven days! Who knows!

Looking forward to this new dive into a terrible book, please email your thoughts, reactions, fan-fic as soon as you get your hands on a copy!

Episode 29 – What The Hell Was That?

Well, the pace sure as hell was unrelenting, folks. We’ve reached the end of TekWar, and there both is and isn’t a lot to talk about. Chest-high walls, disdainful robot pimps, the brief and wondrous life of Sonny Hokori are all just the tip of the iceberg. Thanks to all who hitched their wagons to the Shatlart skytrain for this plasride!

As announced in the episode, we’ll be taking a look at the TekWar TV movie soon as a Patreon exclusive, so stay tuned for that. Conor also has his eye on the next title, so we will get started on that soon as well!

Episode 28 – Al’s House of Lucite

If you’d told us way back in Episode 25 – Meetings About Sonny Hokori, if we’d still be having meetings about Sonny Hokori 150 pages later, we would have thrown the book across the room. And yet, here we are.

We’re back after the holiday break (feeling kind of glum, guess we just miss Ogden Swires) with a thorough dive into the second to last section of TEKWAR. Time to question the wisdom of installing cyborg limbs that seem to be weaker than flesh ones, explore the oppressive censorship of the Bishop of Acapulco and meet two strong contenders for Best Characters in the Book. Plus, we’ll examine the rise of the Plas industry, and the fall of another, and read some very exciting FanFic that is probably gonna be better than how the book actually ends.

Assignment for next time: finish the damn book!

Thanks to all our patreon supporters! Support for as little as a dollar per month, or chip in 5 and get access to every episode early! patreon.com/372pages

Episode 27 – A Heavy Airquotes Simple Plan

Chapter 22 of Tekwar may be the second stupidest chapter we’ve read on this podcast. The first, of course, being the one in Armada where The Emissary just, you know, cures cancer and every other disease. But this one is close. We will explain why in great detail.

We’ll also FINALLY meet one of the characters the other characters have been talking about. We’ll get to bask in presence of the charismatic, bon vivant that is The Fat Globo. We’ll encounter racist android brothel owners. And we’ll see how Mike does on his Fan Fic guessing even though he’s misplaced his lucky pencil.

Supporters of our Patreon get every episode for free and we also try to throw in bonus stuff from time to time like the plasquiz discussed in this episode and Mike’s upcoming, long awaited discussion of how he got the nickname Mad Dog. Thanks to everyone who supports it, if you’d like to join them, here’s the link: patreon.com/372pages

For next time, read thru Chapter 30!

Episode 26 – Located in the Exact Center of your Podcast App

Roll your cartoon wolf tongues back into your mouths, we’ve got a new episode! This week we finally get to meet the lusted after Beth Kittridge… Well, kind of…

Mike also coins a new, revolting portmanteau for our favorite author duo: Shatlart, while Conor does his best to try to pronounce the name Ogden, which bafflingly is the name of more than one character in this stupid, stupid book.

A huge thanks to our Patreon supporters, who get access to every episode early! Join them at patreon.com/372pages

For next time read thru Chapter 26!